Toxic Positivity

Greetings all!

I am a huge believer in sending good thoughts into the universe and trying to stay positive so when I came across a post about toxic positivity, I was intrigued as I have never heard this term before.

The author believes that “While having a positive outlook on life is a good thing, ‘toxic positivity’ is a way of shutting down what someone is truly experiencing. Painful or unpleasant emotions are important to acknowledge and process.”

I think the term 'toxic' is a bit strong in this context but it did give me pause and reminded me how challenging and awkward it usually is to talk about difficult emotions and situations. 

Sometimes our positive messages to a person going through difficult times might seem callous and dismissive but is it better to say nothing if you cannot find the right words? What if there are no right words? What if you know it is not going to be ok at the end?

I am also realizing that even though “Everything happens for a reason” and “You’ll get over it” are very appropriate in some situations, they actually express MY thoughts and MY outlook. 

But this is not about me - this is about the other person who is going through something tough. I am here to show support and love and understanding. And I think “I am here for you” sends the right message. 

What did you think? Drop me a line!

Source (P.S. There is really good discussion thread there, and I very much enjoyed learning different perspectives):

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6901974984567222273/

The Difficult Person Test

Greetings all!

I was recently thinking about John Donne's quote that "No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main." We do not exist in a vacuum, and research shows that healthy relationships with others are built upon respect, kindness, compassion, and reciprocity. 

Image from 

https://pixabay.com/illustrations/plane-sea-ocean-island-away-shark-4598718/

We probably all know people we consider difficult, and no doubt sometimes WE are difficult people ourselves. So how do we play nice to get along with others? Sometimes it is knowing what NOT to do!

Take this interesting Difficult Person Test HERE to find out where you are on these seven traits that might put you at odds with other people: 

Grandiosity - Do you believe you are better than others?

Aggressiveness - Do you behave rudely and with hostility toward others?

Callousness - Do you lack empathy or concern for others? Do you make others feel uncomfortable?

Dominance: Do you put on airs of superiority and talk down to others?

Manipulativeness: Do you take others for granted and exploit them to derive benefits for yourself?

Risk-taking: Do you engage in risky behavior for the sake of experiencing thrills?

Suspicion: Do you harbor a strong distrust of others? Are you reluctant to open up?

The test is available in several languages, with no sign-up/personal information required. There are 35 statements, which you rank from “I Disagree” to “I agree”, for example:

• People do what I want them to because they are afraid of me.
• Other people’s emotions are their problem, not mine.
• I like telling people what to do.
• I keep track of sensitive information that can be used to hurt people at a later time.
• Others consider my lifestyle wild and exciting.
• I am a unique individual who deserves special treatment.
• I often hesitate to confide in others.

I liked the test, even though I expected the result to be longer than a 1-sentence conclusion but as I was going through the questions, I used them as a quick internal check-in to confirm my own values. How do I treat others? How do I want to be treated? 

Also, the questions made me think about behaviors people might exhibit that will label them as "difficult" people.  But we have no idea what they are going through. Perhaps they are not difficult people but just people going through a difficult time? So let's be kind to others and to ourselves!

Sources:

• https://www.idrlabs.com/difficult-person/test.php
• https://www.wellandgood.com/difficult-person-test/amp/
• https://web.cs.dal.ca/~johnston/poetry/island.html

What did you think? Drop me a line!

10 Unexpected Details On Clothes

Greetings all!

Did you know that there is such a thing as virtual fashion? If you are a gamer, you can buy Ralph Lauren virtual outfits to dress up your avatars! How about that?!   

But my post today is about real clothes for real humans! Do you pay close attention to the labels on your clothes? I only used to read the care instructions until I came across an article that showed unexpected and creative clothing details – here are the 10 that I found particularly cute, funny, clever, interesting, or useful!

1. My favorite: A Positive Message

shy-raspberry

2. Safe on ice: These boots have a flip-down ice cleat for safe walking on icy surfaces. One commenter thought this is a bottle opener!

TheRealJasonium

3. It’s raining flowers! 

When wet, this raincoat reveals a pretty floral pattern.

trashyfictions

4. #ShareTheLoad: No explanation necessary!

5. Meet Gabriella who sewed your t-shirt: I love this personal touch!

Statusquosinner

6. Gardener tag: Made with wildflower seeds that you can plant!

droppedmycroissant23

7. Your T-shirt’s horoscope: Your clothes deserve to know their future!

dorfmcpumpkin

8. Safe on the road: Biker jacket with signal and brake lights!

joat217

9. Multi-tasking belt: A fantastic gift!

Arsenic75-Q

10. Say cool! Construction worker air-conditioned jackets in Japan - I think these might be great for travel too!

schmistopher

See all 50 here: https://www.boredpanda.com/cool-details-on-items-clothes

Which one was your favorite? Drop me a line! 

March 8 – International Women’s Day: Fairy Godmothers Are Female

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet and romantic little restaurant. Suddenly a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel the world with my darling husband.’ The fairy waved her magic wand and — poof! — two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hand.

Then it’s the husband’s turn to make his wish…

The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!

The husband become 92 years old.

The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are female.

Sources: 

• https://littlethings.com/lifestyle/fairy-grants-husband-wish/1186691-4
• https://depositphotos.com/stock-photos/fairy-godmother.html